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We recently welcomed Peter Wilcock MBA as our webinar speaker and it’s fair to say, the feedback was outstanding. We couldn’t help but follow up with a little more about Peter, his brilliant book and even an inspiring, exclusive chapter.
Peter’s book, Camel in the Tent, is an intriguing and memorable perspective on the principles of success and a backstory to Peter’s many achievements. This exclusive chapter, The Donkey and the Dirt, focuses on resilience, which we knew would be so inspiring to our network at this time.
A few words from Peter:
“In these uncertain times, we need to be at our most resilient. With uncertainty comes fear, not only a fear of catching Covid19 or losing a loved one, but a fear of losing the structure we all live by.
But every storm ends and this one will too. The story of the donkey is a wonderful example of how adversity can be used in our favour once we look beyond the surface of the problems we face. Resilience is crucial to our wellbeing and getting through the tougher times is the true measure of our character. So we will bounce back from this – the donkey turned it around and so will we!”
Intrigued? You can jump straight in and buy Peter’s book here on Amazon or get a taster with your exclusive chapter below.
The Donkey and the Dirt
Persistence is to the character of man as carbon is to steel.
– Napoleon Hill
The lessons on time management had transformed my focus, not only on where I spent my time, but on how I valued my own time. I became intolerant of wasted time, be it laborious meetings or mind-numbing conference calls. Once I’d recognised the concept of time management, it became part of my make-up to be more productive on the things I needed to do so I had more time for the things I wanted to do. Exley has said time management should be a school subject and I could see why; we’re not schooled from an early age in how to value the most valuable commodity known to man. The result is regret for many, the regret of lost time. How sad to hear someone say ‘if I had my time again.’ It had never occurred to me time was something that could never be had again.
But I was now in the know, Exley had woken me up to another secret of life, the Panda story may have been contrived but as usual his teaching had worked its magic. My time was now precious, people might try to waste theirs but any hint they were wasting mine would be given short shrift. Time with Lou wasn’t traded anymore for pointless late meetings, tennis wasn’t cancelled for toiling over a spreadsheet. There was enough time in the day to work and have fun I found, the heroes who told me they worked 18 hour days (if they tell you, it’s rarely true) were met with a look of pity rather than respect. And I cascaded the law of time to the team, the usual office culture of early in and late to leave, usually after the boss, was discouraged in our domain. Do the work, don’t waste time at the water cooler, be focused, and go home to the kids. And funnily enough we were more productive, happier, had fewer people resigning, fewer marriages failing, and we all seemed that bit more in the vortex.
I installed a large clock on the wall in one of the meeting rooms. It was metal and had been made from recycled bits of bikes and washing machines apparently. Anyway the attraction to me was it made a loud ticking noise, one day shortly after it was put on the wall, during a meeting which had lost its purpose I called out to the group ‘Shhh, listen what’s that noise?’ The room fell silent as they listened… but only the sound of the clock could be heard. As they looked quizzically at each other I said ‘Hear that? That’s the sound of my life ticking away. Now let’s get back to the point, get this meeting over with and go home.’
The knowing looks pleased me; they knew the score. This became a standard thing for the team from then on, sometimes one of them would hold their watch to their ear and ask what the noise was when the group had lost its focus. It became a standing joke to tease each other, sometimes the mere hint of one of us lifting our wrist towards the ear would prompt laughter. On occasions we would even do it in external meetings, but of course no-one but us knew the secret meaning, keeping it to ourselves. This was pure Exley. The panda story had taken on a life of its own as we embellished his words with a code of conduct which said our time was precious, so protect it. He’d taught me well how to use imagery to great affect and the best feeling was that I seemed to be passing on his philosophy.
With my new sense of precious time, it also occurred to me that my time with Exley was hugely valuable. I had often struggled to make time for him, often being ‘too busy,’ but it eventually dawned on me that the time I spent with him saved me time in the future. He was giving me the shortcut to success, and by success, I mean joy.
One day he called and we just talked, about anything and everything. I sat with him on Skype, my feet on the desk as I gazed across the garden watching Lou play with Cassie, change to Babu )my ever-faithful shiatsu. I was, however, a little subdued and of course Exley spotted it.
‘What’s up, my friend?’ he suddenly asked.
‘Well, nothing really…’ I hesitated as I knew it had to come out.
‘Go on,’ he teased, knowing there was no way back.
‘Well, it’s just that you’ve taught me so much and I love every story, and my whole way of thinking has changed and I can see the benefits, and so can everyone else around me, especially Louise, so it’s brilliant …’
‘Do take a breath, Jack,’ he joked, ‘Calm down, you’re amazing. And never forget you have taught me as much as I may have taught you.’
That didn’t ring true but he often said it so maybe it was.
‘The problem is, Exley, that I’m not very resilient,’ I admitted, slightly embarrassed as the words came out. It’s an odd moment when we reveal our innermost feelings, the things we normally protect ourselves from sharing with anyone, even those closest to us. ‘I’m OK when things are going well, but when negative things happen I lose something. Sometimes I just give up or walk away. Maybe I’m a fair-weather guy – only good when the sun is shining.’ I was exaggerating the point, but I felt comfortable enough with Exley to open up like this.
‘So my worry is I’ve learnt so much from you, become a lion with a pride, I’m no longer the crow, I avoid anyone crying crocodile tears, my time is as precious as anything on earth.’
‘Sounds like a good list Jack, did we discuss all that?’ he asked in mock surprise
‘And much more Exley, much more. But if I’m weak and have no staying power, if at the sign of things being tough I curl up in a ball, then will I ever really become that lion, or stop the crabs dragging me back into the pot?’ I hated to say all this to him, I felt I was letting him down in a way. He had chosen me as a pupil and yet unless I knew how to toughen up, would he have wasted his time?
There was a silence as I watched him gaze out of his window at home. You know when there’s a pause which is uncomfortable so you feel obliged to fill it? well I nearly did before he spoke.
‘Nonsense, young man. You’re as resilient as anyone I know, you just don’t know it. How was it losing your folks?’
The question shocked me. He knew how much I still missed them, so his mentioning them made me recoil. ‘Well, you know it was rough, Exley,’ I stuttered.
‘My friend, it was more than rough. You lost the two people in your life who meant the most to you at the time within weeks of each other. How much worse does it get? Did you curl up in a ball?’
I shook my head.
‘Of course not. You stood strong and fought through it. Your elephant is telling you you’re not resilient, but listen to the rider – look how you have built your business, look at the people around you, do you think they believe you’re not resilient?
I wasn’t convinced. Exley didn’t know me like I knew me. Or did he?
‘We’re all resilient, Jack. It just depends when it gets triggered in us, but trust me, you have it. And sometimes you need to get to the edge before you find it. Life throws a curved ball for a reason; we’re here to learn and learning comes from adversity. Even the great champions say they became stronger from losing, not winning. But you’re not even losing – you’re sometimes on the ropes and need to know how to fight back, that’s all.’
‘I wish it was that easy, Exley–’
‘Hey!’ he jumped in, ‘Who said it was easy? Did I use the word easy?’ This was one of the only times I’d heard him raise his voice, which caught me off-guard. It reminded me of when Louise was annoyed; because she was so easygoing, on the rare occasion she got angry, it seems so much worse than if someone who was always letting off steam did it. If Lou was annoyed with me, I knew I’d gone too far, and now I knew I’d pushed Exley that bit too much with my negativity.
‘No, you didn’t, Exley. I didn’t mean you were saying it was easy.’ I scrambled to recover my position. I wish I’d never started this, but there was a reason I needed him to know. We all have self-doubt, or I presume we do. Even those who seem super confident must look in the mirror sometime. My problem was life had been so easy, great parents, great job, great wife, so when the punches came I had a soft underbelly. I hadn’t taken the blows from an early age so I wasn’t naturally persistent, I wanted to give in. My comment to Exley was telling: ‘I wish it was that easy,’ I had said. I needed to learn what to do when it was hard, rather than wishing it was easy.
‘Well maybe you did, maybe you didn’t, young man,’ Exley continued, clearly a tad annoyed at my sanctimonious stance. He didn’t do sanctimonious.
‘Anyway, It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you get your head out of the soil and start behaving like a donkey, not some spoilt kid.’
Now I didn’t like being compared to a spoilt kid, but I’d never been asked to behave like a donkey in a favourable sense. Usually that would be a derogatory term.
‘Did you just say I should behave like a donkey, Exley? How on earth does that help? You want me to stand in a field making weird noises? I think I’d rather be a spoilt child than a donkey!’ The tension between us was receding as I searched for some humour to diffuse it. I was also rethinking whether I was resilient or not.
‘Aha, now I’ve got your attention. I thought the donkey might bring you out of your tantrum. Well, as it happens, I have an example where behaving like a donkey is absolutely the best advice when the chips are down. Want to know it?’
We were back on track; I was in student mode and my master was about to impart the lesson.
‘Come on, Jack, chin up,’ he gently consoled me. ‘The strength of character to overcome adversity is one of the most useful attributes any person can possess, in life generally but especially in business. I’m talking about persistence, the desire to keep going no matter the hurdles in the way. I’ve seen so many clever people, often with brilliant ideas, fall by the wayside because an obstacle got in their way; they had a dream but at the first sign of trouble, they bailed out. You’re not one of those, my son.’
I began to feel better just by having him to confide in. There was something strange about the way he called or we met up when I had an issue on my mind. Louise had a theory; she said we ask for answers and they show up. If we don’t ask, they don’t. Well, I was certainly asking and Exley was showing up.
‘This law is the final piece of the jigsaw, Jack. With this in mind, you will realise all your goals, I promise.’
‘Is it actually law number seventeen, Exley?’ I asked. I would always try to get him to number them but he would always say he couldn’t remember which law was which number. He just said there were 17. But this time he answered.
‘Well, it’s the last law, Jack, so I guess it must be,’ he replied, laughing, ‘And one could say it might even be the most important law, because without persistence your dreams are just wishes as you have already figured out, so no harm in refreshing an old story about resilience.
‘I’ve worked with and become great friends with people of average talent who have become extremely successful because they had that unstoppable force within them, that determination to plough ahead, no matter what. Take any business leader, be it Henry Ford, Carnegie, Gates or Buffet, and you will find persistence in their DNA. Show me a disillusioned man who has a dream in tatters and a business plan gathering dust and I guarantee persistence is what is missing from the equation.’
Is it in my DNA? I wondered.
‘Jack, these are just bumps in the road, trust me, but if you let them stop your journey you will regret it, my friend. What have we talked about since day one when we met? Thoughts become things.
‘I came to the conclusion many years ago that anybody with the right mindset could succeed in business. Of course, some people get a great start in life from their parents, but there is no firm evidence that the start dictates the rest of the journey. As we’ve discussed before, many well-known names in business and entertainment are self-made, often from humble beginnings. Likewise, there are numerous Harvard or Eton-educated people who have ended up lost, broke and lonely.’
I knew a few in both camps, so he was saying destiny was about resilience as much as any other quality. If that were true, I needed to pay attention.
‘One of the key attributes any entrepreneur needs is resilience; the courage to carry on no matter how bad things may become. Those are the people who finally make acquaintance with their holy grail. So many times in business it’s the people with the most persistence who get there in the end. Often, people fall just short of success and give up without knowing that if they’d carried on, it was just around the corner.’
I knew he was right. His words echoed Lou’s, who would always dismiss any negativity. That was a huge plus in our relationship; I heard too many guys listening to their wives on the phone tearing them apart to take Lou’s attributes for granted. She was ever positive, ever supportive and would have frowned at me bemoaning my powers of resilience. But sometimes you just need to get it out to convince yourself, despite what loved ones tell you.
Exley carried on. ‘Napoleon Hill told the story of R U Darby, a gold prospector who sold his gold claim for a pittance to the town junkman when a rich vein of gold apparently ran out. The junkman brought in some people who rediscovered the vein by simply moving the digging three feet to the side. But what I love about this story is the fact Darby learned from his experience and became a hugely successful insurance mogul. He didn’t give up on his dreams and spend his life lamenting that somebody else was mining his gold – he dusted himself off, learned from his mistake and built another business empire.’
Of course, like so many people, I had read Think & Grow Rich, but the lessons in there hadn’t become second nature to me. I would often go back and read it again but still I only grasped part of the wisdom. However, I seemed to retain Exley’s interpretation of Hill’s book simply because he turned it into an image.
I was taken back to the times when I would get upset as a child and my father would sit me down and tell me everything would work out fine. In every case I thought it wouldn’t, but in every case it did. Exley had taken on that role; he knew it and so did I. And I didn’t care if I hung on his every word. How come the rich and famous, the sporting legends have mentors, people to confide in, to exercise their demons, yet the rest are supposed to drown in our own self-doubt and struggle along, except for the lucky few who read the books and go to the seminars. Self-development books are the number 1 bestselling genre… so something must be wrong out here somewhere.
So I sat back and wallowed as my own personal mentor unravelled my problem.
‘I told the Darby story many times when faced with an entrepreneur giving up, but never felt it truly got through. And I don’t blame anyone for that. It’s tough being up against a wall with nowhere to turn and you’ve got some guy telling you about Darby and his gold. Fear stops any logic. In fact, one of our main defects as humans is the fact that our senses desert us when we’re in danger, just the time when we need them the most!’
‘Well mine certainly do, Exley,’ I chimed in, reassured that he recognised fear was commonplace.
He laughed and shook his head. ‘Less of the self-immolation Jack, no need to beat yourself up here.’
I smiled as he continued.
‘So I searched for a story that might do the trick. How could I find a visual image of what it can feel like to overcome all odds and win? Well, it took me a while, but I found one.’
‘I need this, Exley, I think I need to share it to heal it,’ I told him gratefully. ‘I need an image to get my head in the right place. I remember the Darby story from Hill but only now you mention it, and I’ve read that book a dozen times. Stories like that fade away until you read them again, but your animal analogies stick with me. All you had to do was mention Panda Time and I knew exactly what I should be doing now.’
‘I understand, Jack – past-life regression works in the same way. You relive something to heal it.’
Past life regression, I thought to myself. I had heard of it but knew nothing of it.
‘Anyway,’ he continued, ‘here’s one that might help. If you’re sitting comfortably, then I’ll begin the lesson on persistence.’
His manner amused me; it also eased my mood as a session with Exley always did. He began, using his best storyteller’s voice, almost as if he were speaking on a 1950s radio show.
‘The following story illustrates perfectly how misfortune can be turned around by having resilience, the ability to keep going when the odds are stacked against you. In this case, a donkey shows us how to turn adversity into opportunity.’
‘No need for the actor’s voice, Exley, thanks!’ I laughed.
I could sense he was teasing me, but I also knew he was pleased my mood had lifted and I was in the right frame of mind for a good story.
‘A farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. It got stuck halfway down, hidden in the darkness of the walled hole in the ground. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was too old and probably couldn’t survive the trauma of being pulled out even if they could achieve such an improbable feat. The well needed to be covered up anyway so it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. The farmer invited all his neighbours to come over and help him fill in the well. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into it.’
Poor donkey, I thought. Is this a metaphor for my current position? I wondered. More or less dead with people shovelling dirt on my head…
‘At first, as the donkey realised what was happening, it cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement, it quietened down. Several shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down into the well and was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up on the growing mound of dirt. As the farmer’s neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take another step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!’
Of course, the punchline made me laugh. ‘Nice one, Exley. I actually feel like that donkey, although up until now I’m not sure climbing out was on my mind. I guess you’re saying that when it looks as though things are bleak, there’s always a way out.’
‘I am indeed, but much more than that, Jack. I love the image of the doomed donkey getting to the point where all hope was lost, only to suddenly realise the people trying to bury it were actually giving it a lifeline – unbeknown to them, of course. Life is going to shovel dirt on you, Jack, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells – not by bleating and giving up, but by finding a way of turning a setback into an opportunity. The dirt, which was meant to kill the donkey, actually became its lifeline. There was no other means of the donkey escaping the well but the key element was its mindset, which turned from negative to positive.’
‘So the main thing that changed was its thoughts?’
‘Correct. And that’s what the people you admire in business will do. Any individual you care to name would react as the donkey did when all hope seemed lost. They would use the situation to their advantage rather than seeing their plight as a done deal. I guarantee that almost every successful businessperson has felt like that donkey at some stage. We learn from adversity; a calm ocean never taught a sailor anything.
‘But the people who fall by the wayside, who grumble and moan about the economy, the government, the weather, their parents – they are the people who would lie down and let the soil pile up on top of them. How often do you hear people blaming their plight on anything but themselves, instead of focusing on finding a way of getting what they want?’
‘All the time,’ I agreed.
‘In the US we have a different attitude to failure than you do in Britain. We respect someone who has taken the blows and got back up from the canvas to win the fight, whereas it seems to me that the Brits regard going down in the first place a sin. My friend and mentor, Jim Rohn, begins all his talks with the story of how he was penniless and lost as a twenty-eight year-old, before making millions and then being broke again at the age of thirty-two. He used to fill concert halls with his seminars, talking about what he learnt from getting back off the canvas or climbing out of the well. Jim spent more time talking about his dark days than his huge success and it took me years to figure out why. The audience didn’t want to hear some guy telling them how much he was worth or how successful he was – they wanted to know how he became the man he was. His years of struggle, his mentor Earl Schauf asking him what kind of plan he had for his family at twenty-eight, when he had no plans beyond the next pay check – that’s what the packed conference halls wanted to hear.’
I’d seen some of Rohn’s seminars on YouTube and Exley was right; he did make his story about where he came from rather than where he’d arrived at.
Exley was very animated as he continued the theme. ‘And why did he talk about his struggles. Why? Because everyone in the hall who didn’t have a plan for their family wanted to know how Jim built a philosophy that changed his life, so they could see the result and follow his lead. And he would always tell the same story about how he managed it, that his rise to fame and fortune was due to persistence along with a sound philosophy, not necessarily brains or talent.
‘And he’s not the only one who does this. The very best have always climbed out of the well and you may well find that the next time you’re listening to one of your business heroes at a seminar, he or she will talk more about the difficult times than the good, simply because they know what made them different was the fact that they didn’t lie down as the dirt fell in on them. After all, who wants to hear a story from a guy who graduated from Princeton, came from an affluent home, founded a business with his dad’s cash, made a billion in two years and has a model wife and three gorgeous kids? Everyone will leave the room saying, “It’s alright for him,” so where’s the inspiration? But a guy who has fought through hardship, fallen down the well, looked up desperately as the dirt fell in, then found a way to climb out, can connect with all of us.’
‘You’re right, Exley. At the conference I’d been to on the day we met, there was a guy presenting who had created a £2.3 billion turnover business. But he told the story of how he nearly died of meningitis and at the same time lost his job. That had spurred him on to stop working for someone else and raise cash to start the business. Afterwards, everyone talked about the fact he had pulled himself back from the brink in more ways than one!’ I enthused, thinking back to the day we had met.
‘There you go, Jack – exactly my point. We want to hear about the donkey that climbed out, not the one who lived a carefree life, grazing in a field. I’m not advocating failure here, by the way – far from it – but I am saying that we learn more from adversity than success. Look back at your own experiences and you’ll find that to be the case. So to that very point, we all need the courage of the donkey in order to really stretch ourselves as individuals, otherwise life is a dark well. It’s amazing how often I meet with friends or even strangers who tell their story and focus on the tough times, the moments when they had their backs to the wall and how that experience made them what they are today.
‘I heard someone once say that the best thing about achieving the goal was not the goal itself, but what the journey to achieve the goal did for you personally. I’m sure reaching the summit of Everest was an amazing moment for Hillary, but I guarantee it was the experience of climbing the mountain that changed him as a man and was the most valuable thing about the achievement.’
‘So you’re saying that how I get through this will make me a better person, even if it seems tough right now?’ I was warming to his advice.
‘It’s only tough if you make it that way, Jack. Turn the dirt into an opportunity and don’t sit there working late, looking at the soil coming down on you. Climb out, call the deal off, go get drunk, get angry, do something that will make you feel empowered rather than a victim. Ever realised that fear makes you feel powerless yet anger makes you feel in control? Within reason, obviously. Get the image in your head of the donkey climbing out of that well, and make it happen.’
‘I will, I promise. That donkey has definitely inspired me!’Life with Exley certainly wasn’t a straight line – here I was, being inspired by a donkey!
I felt so much better just by talking, but more importantly, I knew the donkey story would let me build a persistence that would enable me to be the best I could possibly be.
‘Good man – I knew it would. This links back to some of my other stories when I talk about thoughts being more powerful than external forces. The really successful people have the ability to think in a certain way, which helps them overcome all obstacles to get what they want. Show me a success story and I’ll find the moment when either the person or the company was up against it.
‘The next time the business plan isn’t in line with what you told the bank or it looks as though a competitor is throwing dirt all over you, as you sit back and the fear sets in…think of the donkey. Use that dirt to climb out of the hole rather than lie there getting deeper and deeper underneath it. I know so many people who I’ve told that story to and who’ve used it to focus on the solution, not the problem. The problem is being buried in the well, but the solution is using the dirt to get out! How many people do you know who focus on the problem, wasting valuable time and energy bemoaning their plight and sinking deeper under the dirt, as opposed to changing the reality. The soil is part of the journey, often sent to teach us how to deal with it.
‘I get it, Exley. I saw hurdles as a nuisance – I didn’t realise we learn from them.’
‘Learn we do. There are countless examples of successful people who’ve dealt with the biggest hurdles.Edison showed resilience when he tried 10,000 times. Ford was persistent when no-one wanted a car. Martin Luther King persisted when he was outnumbered. Jesse Owens didn’t give up when he had the whole of Germany against him. Tony Robbins was broke, Bill Gates was beaten up by IBM, Jobs was sacked, the list goes on. But don’t think it’s easy – if it was, everyone would be doing it. Why do you think I have so many stories? Because I’ve spent so many long nights trying to figure out how to keep going, despite the odds.’
That struck a chord with me. I often regarded Exley as a man who had led a charmed life, but it only seemed that way because he had learned to paddle downstream after years of fighting the current.
I felt at ease with myself: I’d shared my deep concern and come out of it realising I was as tough as that donkey. The incidents flashed through my mind where I had been in the well, and I had climbed out. It occurred to me we should all follow the same process when faced with a fear – recall the examples when we’ve beaten it.
‘Before you go back to your lovely wife and I go for a swim in the ocean, here’s the last part of the story, which I really like. The donkey later came back and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The bite got infected, and the farmer died from septic shock. So the moral there is: when you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you!’
He roared with laughter, and so did I.
‘Revenge is often sweet. So bear in mind, if you’re in the well looking up and feeling all is lost, imagine sinking your teeth into the rear of the person holding the shovel – that should add to the motivation to climb out. Going back to Jim, he told me how he once took a bag full of dollars to the credit agency who, when he was broke, used to call him up every week threatening to foreclose on him. He walked in, asked by name for the guy who used to call, emptied the bag all over his desk, said “I’m paid up now – count it,” and walked out, leaving the bag, a heap of bills on the desk and a clerk open-mouthed. That, to Jim, was biting the farmer’s behind!
‘I’m often struck by the fondness I have for the story and the poor donkey – he’s become a pal of mine over the years, so much so I need to name him sometime soon. The reason being that he was in a terrible plight, scared to death and had no obvious hope of surviving. But he was also smart and courageous; when all was lost and he had almost given up, he decided he wasn’t going to let them finish him off and so he gathered his wits and began to climb out of his death trap. That image is one I want everyone to carry with them whenever they’re in any form of situation that looks hopeless. Whether it be sitting in front of a bank manager or a doctor, have the courage of the dear donkey and imagine yourself appearing at the top of the well, to the shock of all those watching. Never, ever accept the soil falling down as the end.’
‘I won’t, Exley. I feel so much better.’
‘That’s good to hear, my friend,’ he replied, taking a more serious tone. ‘But you need to practice feeling good come what may. Don’t feel good because things are going well. Feel good and then things will go well. I really want you to think about this. I might not be around forever, so I want you to practice feeling good no matter what is going on around you. The natural tendency is to only feel good when everything is hunky dory, but to sink into gloom when things are tough. But in order to deal with difficult times, you need to feel good in the first place, then you can climb out of the well. So make it your number one priority to feel good no matter what happens in the day, and I promise the world will change. Now we’ll say goodnight and speak when I’m back in the UK. Love to Louise.’
That night, as I watched TV, reflecting on the donkey story, I felt relief that I had found a way to look at problems differently. Relief is a strange way to describe the feeling, but that was what it was, that and the sense that something had been solved. An email pinged on my phone. It was Exley. It read:
I forgot to mention this today, my friend, but here’s a nightcap.
You’ll like this.
Many years ago, a very good friend of mine read me this amazing quote by a writer called Bruce Barton. The quote is from 1924 and is making the point that there is no difference between anyone; we all have something inside us that makes us special – the issue is in finding it:
In every human being, whether emperor or cowboy, prince or pauper, philosopher or slave,
There is a mysterious something which he neither understands nor controls.
It may lie dormant for so long as to be almost forgotten;
It may be so repressed that the man supposes it is dead.
But one night he is alone in the desert under the starry sky; one day he stands with bowed head and damp eyes beside an open grave;
Or there comes an hour when he clings with desperate instinct to the wet rail of a storm-tossed boat,
And suddenly out of the forgotten depths of his being this mysterious something leaps forth.
It over-reaches habit; it pushes aside reason, and with a voice that will not be denied it cries out its questionings and its prayers.
Sleep tight!
I read out loud, rereading the quote. ‘It over reaches habit: it pushes aside reason: and with a voice that will not be denied it cries out its questioning and its prayers.’
It had been an interesting day. My demon had not only been exorcised, but I’d been given the donkey story and the Bruce Barton quote to carry with me forever more. Again, I reflected on Exley’s wish: that every kid should be given wisdom, not just knowledge.
As I drifted off to sleep, a thought flashed through my mind: Was it really Exley’s last law?
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